Director Lynne Ramsay’s new film DIE MY LOVE is a tough sit.
It’s expertly done from top to bottom, uncompromising in its story of a young married couple’s struggles, and a bold comedy/drama (as it’s billed). Not much of it seems all that funny though as Ramsay so firmly embeds us in the headspace of a new mother struggling with post-partem depression that everything which plagues her affects us demonstrably as well. It’s hard to laugh at her spouse’s louche infidelity, the nagging interference of family and friends, even a yapping dog that irritates her to no end because her husband selfishly ignored her request for a pet cat.
Jennifer Lawrence plays that perturbed young mother, ironically named Grace, while Robert Pattinson plays her lackadaisical husband Jackson. Their marriage starts out hot and heavy as the two newlyweds can barely keep their grabby paws off each other no matter where they go. And when he inherits the house from his grandfather who has died from suicide, the bad vibes of the dilapidated house out in the middle of rural Montana don’t even curb their lust. Soon, they turn the old structure into a decent living space, but as they become more domesticated, and have a baby on the way, the passion in their marriage starts to wane.
Ramsay and her fellow screenwriters Enda Walsh and Alice Birch have adapted Ariana Harwicz’s 2012 novel of the same name with skill and care. And that means they’re presenting a story that is often bleak, vicious, and yes, even violent without compromise. The story examines the ways married couples can hurt each other and themselves when they’re ill-prepared for the responsibilities and maturity of an adult life. Lawrence and Pattinson play it all superbly, putting everything out there on the screen including some raw sex scenes and plenty of nudity. The movie can also boast of giving terrific parts to Sissy Spacek and Nick Nolte as Pattinson’s struggling parents. Indeed, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Is a shitty marriage hereditary? At times, the film seems to be arguing so.
For anyone who’s suffered through a bad marriage, family trauma, or troubled parenting, DIE MY LOVE may be more than a little triggering. Heck, it’s probably going to be a challenging film to watch for anyone with a generally blessed life. But watching Grace treat some of her motherly duties with gross indifference makes it difficult to feel sympathy for her. Watching Jackson shirk most responsibilities at home, including disciplining the needy dog to the point where his wife wants to kill the pooch is also unsettling. And watching these two immature adults snipe at each other every time they get into the car, often leading to accidents or near-accidents, well, it’s hard to get back onboard with their plight after babies and animals are endangered, you know?
Lawrence excels at playing troubled young wives (AMERICAN HUSTLE, MOTHER) and Pattinson has forged a sharp career out of playing enigmatic and often unreachable rogues (THE LIGHTHOUSE, THE BATMAN). I applaud each of them for choosing such tricky material as this and acing it. Likewise, I continue to admire Ramsay for her intimate portrayals of pain on screen and the clever ways she incorporates editing, cinematography and sound design to tell her stories. But material this dark and often nasty requires a strong will to watch and sometimes even a stronger stomach. There’s nothing wrong with such an ask of an audience, but it’s not easy. This one is a ginormous ask as Grace’s plight goes on and on and on. The film is easy to admire for its art and bravery of its participants, but sadly, it’s less so for the unrelentingly disheartening and ugly tale at its core.
